The Story of Ricky Retardo

Doesn't he look like a winner?!

 Last spring John Deere and I got feeder calves--actually one was for us and one was for Chellie's tenth year of 4-H.  I picked Fiesty Bob--he was cute and awesome. Chellie picked another one that died three days later.  When John Deere went back to the farm to find a replacement--he brought home Ricky Retardo!  Ricky had droopy ears and a twisted body, but he was the only one left that was alive and not spoken for.  He was scared of his own shadow and would have a spaz attack any time we got near him.  He was infuriating.

Imagine this with vibrating eyes-- 1/2 a second before he flopped over!

One rainy day--not long after we released the young calves into the "feedlot" I walked out to check on them.  They were resting in the barn and I apparently scared them because they hopped up and ran outside.  Feisty Bob was smart enough to stop after a few steps--when he realized that I wouldn't hurt him.  Retardo, on the other hand, did not put his brakes on until he saw the barbed wire fence--well, it was raining, he was running on cement, and by the time he decided to stop he had built up enough momentum that he fell and slid underneath the fence.

He stood up, bewildered, and realized that he was not where he was supposed to be.  He tried walking back through the fence as I called John Deere and said "The dumb one is out!"-- he told me he would be home ASAP! 

Ok, so in the meantime I just have to keep Ricky Retardo from freaking out and running away.  I attempted to sneak up to him with a halter-he was small, so if I could just get close enough to put him in a headlock, I think we would be ok.

Well, just when I almost had him, John Deere came down the road in his noisy truck and Ricky Retardo took off!  He ran all around the barn yard and 1/2 way through the field before we finally body slammed him up against the barn, put a halter on him, and drug him back to his pen.  (Don't tell PETA).  I was sure he was going to die--his eyes vibrated in his head for the next few hours as he calmed himself down.

Fortunatley, he didn't die.  Chellie showed him at the fair where he was on his best behavior--then, so we wouldn't be stuck with a stupid 1500 pound animal, she sold him.  Unfortunately, a friend of our family bought him--they didn't realize his namesake--Good Luck!

Note:  I know many of you have heard this story before, but it seems like we can all use a good laugh every now and then!